We Are The Weakest Link
It seemed a good idea at the time: "Could we enter the Village Quiz this year, to do our bit for the community?" asked Cliff.......And so it came to pass that the biggest pea-sized brains from KCC assembled on Monday 29th January 2007 to represent the Club in the Annual Keyworth Village Quiz competition. After an absence of twenty-three years, aside from a no-show whilst Heppers was Club Captain, the KCC team were welcomed with open arms by the Quiz organisers, clearly short on quantity and any entrants not yet entitled to a bus-pass.
Richard Drury, Dale Collison and Chris Ladd were deemed the brainiest (only by virtue of being available with no Monday night football on Sky Sports) and met Team Captain Chris Legge at Buzz for a nerve-settling pint. Leggy recanted tails of previous performances in the Quiz and his year-long revision of ancient Greek civilisation amongst others. The rest of the boys were hoping that their specialist subject, 'the golf courses of south Nottinghamshire 1990-2007', would feature heavily in the questions.
Richard Drury, Dale Collison and Chris Ladd were deemed the brainiest (only by virtue of being available with no Monday night football on Sky Sports) and met Team Captain Chris Legge at Buzz for a nerve-settling pint. Leggy recanted tails of previous performances in the Quiz and his year-long revision of ancient Greek civilisation amongst others. The rest of the boys were hoping that their specialist subject, 'the golf courses of south Nottinghamshire 1990-2007', would feature heavily in the questions.
Inspired, the team set off to the Theatre of Dreams, feeling like Scumbags College taking on Oxbridge Footlights in the infamous Young Ones episode. Cups of tea and stale biscuits were consumed at the back of the Hall as the minutes ticked by to D-Day. By 9.10pm, most of the team were down to their boxer shorts, as the Hall thermometer hit 120 degress to keep most of the contestants and spectators alive. To say the Village Quiz was a young person's sport would be bending the truth.The lads were up against the Parish Church, a team with much more experience in the Quiz and indeed life! The massive travelling KCC support (Cliff, Jean and John 'The Adonis' Beaton - sadly poached by the Rugby Club) cheered as the boys took their seats in front of individual microphones, buzzers, and the 10 second countdown clock. Confusion reigned as the KCC team had two Chris L's, but the quiz master got on with the show, and sent down the easy full tosses about the 1930s and religion to his ageing Parish Church chums, whilst saving the devilishly difficult googlies for Leggy's crew.
Laddy caused the first guffaws of the night, during the individual round. "What does one have a fear of if you suffer from acrophobia?" asked the quizmaster to the Parish Church lady. "Fear of outdoors" she replied. Incorrect, it passed over to the big-eared buffoon: "Fear of indoors?" he quipped. The laughter drowned out the quizmaster who crushed his hopes - "a fear of heights". The big fella redeemed himself by getting the cricket question right in a later round, Collison pulled out American Pie as the song written about Buddy Holly's crash, whilst Drurs remembered his early years by naming the cow in Magic Roundabout as Ermintrude. Clearly the club chairman had enjoyed the wacky backy double entendres of the children's classic.
However, it was Leggy who led from the front with a series of guesses and flukes that kept the scores respectable. However his coup-de-gras came when the other seven contestants, and most of the audience were stumped by the question, "who played the Father in the orginal Father of the Bride film?" With the seconds running out, Leggy plucked Spencer Tracy from thin air. Only after the quiz finished did he reveal that his ears had picked up the answer from two gossiping old dears in the front row! Furthermore, he had used the same trick ten years earlier in his last foray into the Village Quiz.
The final round was fingers on the buzzers, and the Millers fancied their chances against their slow moving opposition. Clawing back the ten point gap looked unlikely, and so it proved as the Parish Church defied their years with same quick fingering! However, an ambulance was nearly called when their team captain suffered a spasm on pushing the buzzer and held his finger on it for fully ten seconds. Fears that he had been electrocuted by the home made electrical buzzers were misfounded, and he survived to get his answer out.
Defeat was 50 points to 37, but slim hopes remained that the Millers would qualify as a highest loser. However, the score was only "bettered" by the South Wolds Kids who had scored 10, so Round 2 looks unlikely. If by chance they do get through, Leggy and the boys will contemplate playing the second round in their Speedos, to combat the sweltering temparatures in the Village Hall. They will probably bring their own biscuits too.
Maybe 2008 will bring some intellectual silverware to Keyworth Cricket Club?
However, it was Leggy who led from the front with a series of guesses and flukes that kept the scores respectable. However his coup-de-gras came when the other seven contestants, and most of the audience were stumped by the question, "who played the Father in the orginal Father of the Bride film?" With the seconds running out, Leggy plucked Spencer Tracy from thin air. Only after the quiz finished did he reveal that his ears had picked up the answer from two gossiping old dears in the front row! Furthermore, he had used the same trick ten years earlier in his last foray into the Village Quiz.The final round was fingers on the buzzers, and the Millers fancied their chances against their slow moving opposition. Clawing back the ten point gap looked unlikely, and so it proved as the Parish Church defied their years with same quick fingering! However, an ambulance was nearly called when their team captain suffered a spasm on pushing the buzzer and held his finger on it for fully ten seconds. Fears that he had been electrocuted by the home made electrical buzzers were misfounded, and he survived to get his answer out.
Defeat was 50 points to 37, but slim hopes remained that the Millers would qualify as a highest loser. However, the score was only "bettered" by the South Wolds Kids who had scored 10, so Round 2 looks unlikely. If by chance they do get through, Leggy and the boys will contemplate playing the second round in their Speedos, to combat the sweltering temparatures in the Village Hall. They will probably bring their own biscuits too.
Maybe 2008 will bring some intellectual silverware to Keyworth Cricket Club?
M.O.M. Chris 'Spencer Tracy' Legge
posted by kccblogger @ Sunday, February 04, 2007
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