Seconds Go First

A fifth win on the spin over second placed Belton put the Stiffs top of the table.

A strong squad saw First team heartthrobs Collison and Garland available for the Stiffs, ensuring the WAGs count was easily into high single figures. Dangerous Dave Hiller had a late call up to the Firsts so Tuckers was drafted in.

The Field of Dreams looked a picture in the June sunshine with hardly a breath of breeze. HMS Collison struggled to make it out of port, really needing a second sail, sadly the Sheriff’s prize underwear remain on the wanted list.

Pre-match banter mostly concerned AC’s forthcoming visit to the tattoo parlour to be branded with a latin transcript.
"Did you do latin at school AC?" asked Drurs.
"You must be joking, I struggled with English!" replied AC.
"Make sure it says ‘don’t slog’" chipped in Leggy, quick as a flash.
With that, Leggy donned the umpires white jacket, turning down the offer of a white stick by Cowlard, more concerned that he hadn’t packed any Savlon to deal with his troublesome Johnny Giles’s.

Ted was fit only to score and stand-in skipper Cowlard confessed he had no idea what to do if winning the toss, but the chances of that happening were remote. It was no surprise to see us put into the field, news more unpopular than the Olympic 2012 logo.

Opening up Cowlard and Liam bowled like Plunkett and Harmo: completely unplayable but rarely on the stumps. Slowly Liam got the hang of the banana swing and made the early breakthrough. AC followed next over with a beauty. At 34-2 off 14 overs we were on top. Liam took his cap and jumper (in 25 degrees heat!) with remarkable figures of 1-1 off 7 overs with 5 consecutive maidens. For Paul Lay behind the sticks, one-brings-two was more about bruises than wickets as the byes and wides count was already into double figures.

The strong sun was clearly getting to our season ticket holders. The Sheriff induced a top edged slog that Drurs took comfortably after an initial startled look. However Glassback was more than happy for it to be described as a ‘great catch’ by the ladies at the drinks break!

Pumped up by the e-numbers in the orange squash, XX Dale came roaring in down the hill, bowling what felt like 18 consecutive full tosses.

We needed another breakthrough so Cowlard turned to Murali Burton. However it looked like the yips had returned as Murali tossed down a 10 ball over, one ball pitching on the adjacent strip. Still a wicket wasn’t far away as Matt finally got one straight, and the loudest appeal in village cricket wasn’t really necessary, as Leggy had his finger up on the ‘huh’ of Howzat.

Ground fielding throughout was excellent: Benji, Tuckers and Liam throwing themselves to all parts. But the best was still to come as Potty made a tumbling stop at extra cover, then throwing off his knees to run out the non striker. Catching was a bit more patchy. Cowlard and Benji made low chances into half volleys, while Dave G had clearly spent too long standing next to Laddy, grasping at thin air to a routine edge to slip. Big Dave had the last laugh though, turning his arm over for a couple of rounds of flighted filth, getting a clean bowled.

The Sheriff blotted his copybook, and would later be up in front of the fines committee, for anger management, after a frank exchange of views with the Belton no.8. Dave ushered the batsman back to the pavilion after a routine leg before, and was accused of gloating. All manner of hand signals followed, and Ted in the scorers’ gazebo had his ears bent for the next 15 minutes.

Liam returned to claim two wickets to finish with splendid figures of 3-14 off 9.3 overs. Sheriff was again miserly with 2-28 off 12, AC took 2-39 off 9. 143 all out was an excellent effort.

Tea courtesy of Cath was a banquet. Potty clearly approved of his mother’s home cooking, piling about six layers onto his plate, forgetting that he had to go and open. Among the many highlights were fresh raspberries and made-to-order egg sandwiches.

In reply we got off to a good start. Drurs had been in worse nick than Strauss so was delighted to get a few full bungers from the left arm spinner. We raced to 50 off 13 overs, Potty outscored 10:1 by his veteran opening partner, much to the delight of the senior pros in the scoring tent.

We reached 85 against the best bowling attack we’d faced for a long time, and poor Potty copped half a dozen painful blows on the foot, the final one diverting unluckily onto the stumps for a battling 32.

BJ strode in confidently but the Corporal didn’t last long, caught and bowled, playing too early. Dave G played scratchily, though his own description of the innings couldn’t be printed here. A fine leg cutter saw him caught behind for 6 off what seemed like 60 balls!

In came Dale with us needing 5 of the 35th over to gain maximum batting points, and sensibly patted back two forward defensive strokes. Drurs followed his partner’s example preferring a red-inker over a batting point and we comfortably reached the target in the next over.

Dale was 1 not out, Drurs unbeaten on 85 with 15 boundaries. A fine win: 19 points sees us top of the table.

MOM: Drurs

MOM in running: Jean 1, Potty 1, BJ 1, Sheriff 2, Murali 1, Dangerous 1, Drurs 1