Seconds Go Potty

The Seconds dodged the showers to avenge their opening day loss to Farndon with a rout in the return fixture.

The first hurdle of the day was the two-mile hike from car park to pavilion. Experience told as the KCC seam attack used the wheels on their bags to add further ruts to what already looked a spicy green pitch.

On arrival at base camp, Drurs was delighted to see two physio’s benches in the pavilion, the home side being limbered up as part of a Newark College training course. Sadly a quick toss up saw us in the field before manipulations could begin.

The Farndon openers had clearly misread the playing conditions, setting off at 20/20 pace, Cowlard’s first two balls going for 6 then 4. Paul Lay, back behind the stumps, had to be reminded that his ‘one gets two’ shouts should be about wickets rather than shots to the boundary.

Ted felt like Captain Mainwaring, as half the team were panicking like lemmings, suggesting all manner of defensive fielding positions. Benji had clearly not fully read his Ladybird Book of Cricket as thoughts of nine men on the boundary were a touch excessive after 1.2 overs. Old head Cowlard knew it was a matter of patience and fourth ball took a simple caught and bowled from a short ball that popped.

Dave 1 in 4 Hillier was back in re-hab, despairing of if he would ever take another wicket. Drurs sagely suggested he simply bowl at off stump rather than following the batsman around the crease. Next ball the Farndon opener was bowled off peg shouldering arms. QED. The reckless batting continued, with all manner of hoiks and slogs just missing back-pedalling fielders. Cowlard then found the edge for Murali to grab a low chance at gully. 50-3 off 9 overs was breathless stuff.

Then calamity. Poor Liam dropped an absolute sitter off Bo Duke and we were hoping the physio’s benches would be replaced at tea by two psychiatrist’s couches. Ted was like Brearley though, immediately bringing Liam into the attack. And Liam was soon show-boating in his follow through as the Farndon middle-order groped at popping balls on an increasingly dodgy pitch.

On top, we didn’t want a break for rain, but fortunately there were as many holes in the clouds as in Leggy’s boxers from Tweedie’s. Upon the restart, Sheriff had a caught behind. Then Potty made a catch at mid-wicket, the dive solely for the benefit of his watching fan club.

The fielding highlight as ever came from the Clown Prince of Keyworth cricket. Boss Hogg charged in from square leg looking to prevent a quick single, only to collapse stiff-legged, like a cooling tower detonated by Fred Dibner. All Ted could think about was one of the giants with big feet in It’s A Knockout, scrabbling in a pile of hay for the one remaining football.

A couple of old heads hung around for a bit to make sure tea would be ready, but we soon polished off the tail. Drurs broke into a trot for the first time to catch one off Liam, and Top Man wrapped things up with a very sharp catch at slip off Dangerous Dave.

125 all out off 35 overs was a fine display. Hiller 3-25, Elliott.L, 2-20 and Hallam 2-26 were fine figures.

Tea was above average, chocolate marshmallows the old-fashioned highlight.

In reply, Potty and Drurs were outwardly confident, but bricking it on the inner, more out of form than Vaughan and Strauss, having contributed just 17 runs in total in the first two matches. The top six were all padded up after the calamity of recent weeks. Things weren’t helped by the pitch now resembling a corrugated roof. It was more like batting in SW19 than NG24 as the opening bowler served down a series of Pete Sampras smashes.

The Farndon attack though got too excited and bowled far too short. Potty took advantage hooking repeatedly for four. Without too many alarms we reached 50 without loss in the 9th over. Along the way Drurs had been harshly (in his eyes) fined for a Cowlard-esque pull through mid-wicket for four. Cowlard nodded with approval at the fine and the shot.

Things began to get easier as the home side’s heads dropped. Potty smashed his ninth boundary to reach his maiden KCC fifty and celebrated with two sixes over square leg to bring the scores level. Drurs was more patient and cleverly avoided a jug sneaking a single to win the match in the 24th over. Potty was unbeaten on a fine 66, Drurs on 45. A thumping 10 wicket win for a 20 point maximum.

MOM: Lee Potts
MOM in running: Jean 1, Sheriff 1, BJ 1, Potty 1