Stiffs Won't Lay Down

A comfortable win for the Stiffs after a sticky start away to Caythorpe.

Team news saw Boss Hogg, Liam, One-Gets-Two and Duncan Disorderly replace Aussie-pro Doug, DJ Vespa, Benji and Top Man. John ‘The Adonis’ Beeton kindly agreed to take the white coat and stand at one end of the oche.

Ted continued his one man quest to prove that the chances of calling correctly are far from the 50/50 described in most text books. We were inserted on a green deck still recovering from being under water on Thursday.

After early sparring Drurs was undone by a classic 1-2. First a head high beamer that landed in the keeper’s gloves on the full, followed by a half tracker that cut back a foot to hit the top of leg. Cosmic. Ernie rolled back the years with a few elegant dabs but then ran himself out for 9.

Ted and Potty dug in literally at the crease and settled the early nerves. Liam had such confidence in the batting that he helped himself to a bottle of Bud’ from the season ticket holders’ cool box, but was quickly grassed up to the fines’ committee!

Faced with paper boys bowling at 10 mph on a pudding, Ted eventually lost patience, and was stumped for 8. This brought in Andy ‘The Cat’ Cowlard. Dropped three times in his first five balls, AC clearly felt this was his day, but luck ran out on 18. When Potty was out for 21 and the Sheriff caught behind for 2 we were in a hole at 80-6.

After Dave Hiller’s schoolboy errors in the scorebook last week, Duncan hadn’t needed asking twice to sharpen his pencil. This of course had nothing to do with Caythorpe’s young trainee scoregirl, who sensibly listened to her i-pod for 30 overs to drown out Dunc’s small talk.

Meanwhile Paul Lay was scampering away determined not to get out: the prospect of an afternoon talking to his future in-laws clearly in the front of his mind. And he found a willing partner in the Liam, loose as a goose after his early lagers. Both played very sensibly to nods of approvals from the senior pros:
Drurs to Ted: “Liam’s batting well today”
Ted to Drurs: “Yes, he batted really well in nets on Wednesday night”
So no surprise when next ball a forward defensive unluckily looped to short cover and Liam was out for a fine 18, his usual pad-whacking drowned out by applause from the travelling KCC support.

This alerted Leggy to start warming up, albeit too vigorously. Sheriff Hallam was soon fearing the worst for club finances as Leggy demolished part of the picket fence from a calf stretch, right in front of the home groundsman.

Dave Hiller saw what was left to come and hung around for a valuable 15. Finally Leggy came to the crease, needing 7 from the last over for an extra bonus point, and played a stout forward defensive first ball to hoots of derision from the pavilion. Paul got him off strike, but then disaster. The Boss started backing up as soon as the bowler started his run up and was left stranded mid wicket as Paul could only pat the ball back. Leggy returned to be greeted with a hammer and nails, leaving Paul unbeaten on a fine 34, boosting us to 155 at tea, much more than looked likely at one stage.

Tea was hampered by plates the size of saucers. Cowlard used all his building experience to balance six layers of sandwiches and cake. Cheese and beetroot sandwiches and flapjack were the stand out items.

In reply our bowling was rampant. Dangerous Dave Hill(i)er was unplayable 1 in 4 and took three quick wickets. And it was all positive at the other end as AC took the fourth, helped by a good sharp catch from Liam. At 13-4 we were well on top.

Then the highlight of the day. A spiralling drive went heading for Leggy at deep mid on - the collective silence was deafening. But the Boss clung on to a fine catch to set off celebrations like we’d won the League. Dave then missed a routine C&B, clearly fearing the cost of buying a jug. At the other end, the Sheriff showed no mercy to the paper boys, quickly taking 3-9.

It really should have been all over by then, but Potty had claimed his first career hat trick of dropped catches, and saw his pocket money for the whole month in grave danger from the fines committee. With 9 down we broke for drinks. Potty was met by his mum: “Lee, shall we just call it a tenner in fines this week?”

Needing to finish things off, Ted played to the gallery by bringing Leggy on. Our hero had told Cowlard in the Buzz earlier: “watch out when I bowl for something special I’ve been working on”. A first ball beamer at the 13 year old jack was perhaps going a bit far. However Leggy almost finished things off going for 25 in two overs!


Normal order was restored as Dangerous returned to clean up middle stump to end with magnificent figures of 5-13 off 9.2 overs. Caythorpe were all out for 90 to give us 18 more points and four wins now on the trot.

MOM: Dangerous Dave Hiller

MOM in running:
Jean 1, Potty 1, BJ 1, Sheriff 2, Murali 1, Dangerous 1