Stiffs (Pea) Rolled Over

A narrow loss in a low scoring game away to old friends Attenborough.

The trip to Long Lane is the Division J equivalent of a Premier League trip to Blackpool, so it was no surprise to see Cowlard again pick and choose his away fixtures, with apparently only a trip to Lords likely to prise him out of NG12.

Leggy was returning to the scene of his infamous cramp and the selectors had been scouring South Notts for more agile replacements. Jude found the ideal candidate in the Notts CCC squad.

We bowled first on a pitch that had the texture of a giant piece of Ryvita. The Attenborough openers looked low on confidence after being the latest rabbits to be caught in the headlights of Lambley’s Afghan Express. While Liam’s pace was less Express and more Cotgrave Connection, his swing was far too good for the opposition skipper knocking over leg stump second ball. Ernie then took a sharp catch standing up to give Nugget an early brace. Leggy was bowling with great control at the other end and runs were hard to come by.

Sam Nice on first change was another to have the happy knack of a break-though second ball with Drurs taking a simple catch at mid off. The home side’s effort was looking like one of Mr Tuckwell’s Year 6 maths lessons; 5/1 off 5, 10/2 off 10, 15/3 off 15. And Paul Nice soon picked up 100 lines dropping a sharp chance off son Sam.

The introduction of Mr Dearden and Drurs brought more success with a wicket each, Phil with one that hit the stumps on the second bounce barely getting an inch off the ground – a sign of things to come. At 50-5 we were well on top. A decent stand then took the score towards 100 with the home side’s 13 year old no.4 batting like an old hand in an unbeaten 60.

Liam and Leggy returned to swing things back in our favour. Liam produced another pea-roller to hit the stumps and finished with fine figures of 4-26 off 12. Leggy was miserly with 1-20 off 12, supported by Drurs 1-22 off 8, Phil 1-18 off 5 and Sam 1-12 off 4. 114-9 at the break was another fine effort in the field.

Tea was filling, but on the dry side and would have benefited from any kind of fruit.

In reply, the pitch now had less bounce than a 20 year old mattress and, we found runs equally hard to come by. Drurs had a life first ball, dropped by the ‘keeper unwisely standing up. And then had another, almost knocked out when the opening bowler hurled a ball back in his follow through that caught the Chairman flush on the elbow. Drurs just gritted his teeth, meanwhile on the sidelines Neecy was less charitable claiming, ‘I’d have dropped my bat, before dropping him’! The introduction of spin did for Ernie, bowled for 9 by an unplayable ball that turned a foot and dribbled along the ground.

Tuckers was dying to play some cross bat slogs to the spinners, but such shots were a more risky investment than BP shares. Drurs finally ran out of luck bowled by another shooter for 35 and Tuckers soon followed caught behind for 8. Mr Dearden lost concentration when Chris See-Soar turned up, fretting too much about his mis-counted 50, and was caught for 10. Billy went for 1 as we wobbled to 80 -5.

However, Leggy was still talking up his 200 run target for the season, and scampered a quick 13 before being bowled by yet another pea-roller. We needed 15 off the last 3 overs, but within 6 balls the game was over. Liam was bowled for 9. Neecy strode in on the back of a fine 32 the previous Sunday with the support of his team mates, but not 12 year old son Joe: “I hope he gets out first ball, he’s been bragging about his runs all week”. And Neecy went from hero to zero, bowled first ball, with Joe celebrating both the golden duck and his free transfer to Plumtree!!!

No.1 son Sam went in to face the hat trick ball and had no chance of keeping out yet another shooter. The Adonis survived the 5th ball of the over only to chip the last ball to cover. Duncan Disorderly was left stranded on 0 not out as we were all out for 103.

An early finish meant Ernie could be on his bike to beat the traffic to see Robert Green fluff his own pea-roller.