Deadly Duos

A day of double acts as the Stiffs comfortably beat Woodborough.

The only cloud over the Field of Dreams on a beautiful afternoon was above Big Ted’s head. The returning skipper was struggling to muster an eleven. The Tollerton Express had failed his cycling proficiency test on Friday night and nearly ended in A&E, though most felt that pedalling home after 10 pints was a sterner examination than navigating cones on a Raleigh Chopper in the school playground in days gone by.

Meanwhile Mr Dearden was marking Chris See-Soar’s scoring homework and was gutted to find that his 49 a few weeks ago actually added up to 50!

Ted won the toss and opted to field. This immediately paid dividends as Cowlard picked up a wicket first ball: there was no need for hawk-eye as the new cherry lodged between the opener’s pads slap bang in front of middle peg! Leggy soon picked up the other opener who smacked a full toss straight to Drurs at mid off. Ted took a catch behind in AC’s next over and at 9-3 we were well on top.

The opposition number 4 looked a big hitter but was another to be suckered by a Boss Hogg full toss with Cowlard taking a fine catch at long leg. Drurs then took one for the team at 2nd slip as an edge off Cowlard lodged between his skinny ribs. Leggy landed his third sucker punch that tested the Sky pitch map to the extreme as a rank log hop rattled into middle stump.

With the Village Hall clock barely at 2 o’clock, the deadly duo had reduced the away side to 17-6 after 10 overs. The rush in the dressing room was small beer compared to the panic in the team room.

And things could have been even better as the Chairman and ex-Chairman spilled sharp chances behind off Cowlard. Stiffs Legend Dafty had to leave for a lie down to recover fron the excitement.

The Woodborough lower order came out fighting and the no.8 smashed a rapid 38 including a huge six off Leggy that landed three gardens down Nottingham Road. Poor Liam went for three boundaries in his first over, but was soon smiling as Drurs took a smart catch in the deep to see off the big hitter.

Ted had plenty of statues to hide in the field and the dressing room was the best place for Leggy with a series of woeful belly flops at extra cover.

Billy nipped in with a wicket, Cowlard a fourth, and Liam finished things off with a clean bowled.

94 all out in the 30th over was one of the best bowling displays for many a year: Cowlard led the way with 4-20, Leggy 3-37, Liam 2-21 and Billy 1-12.

Tea by Jude turned into a mid-afternoon snack and was a glorious spread. Dimps and Neecey resembled contestants on ‘double or drop’ on Crackerjack with bhajis, wraps and fruit medleys defying gravity on their paper plates. Cowlard would later pay for gourging himself on pickled onions and chicken nuggets. The highlight though came post match courtesy of choc-ices and Fab lollies.

Drurs and Mr Dearden opened up against a decent opening attack. Phil defended stoutly but lost concentration to his first short ball and was bowled for 2.

News had reached Crossdale Drive that the ECB pitch inspectors could be paying a visit to the Rectory Field after the earlier clatter of wickets, and KCC Legend Palmer raced up in his flip flops to see what the fuss was all about. He needn’t have worried as Boom Boom and Drurs passed their GCSE paper on run chasing at grade A, with a chanceless partnership of 84. Drurs got his normal stick for taking his guard like Chanderpaul but peppered the extra cover boundary with 11 fours in an unbeaten 61. Ted played himself back into form with a solid 32 as we crossed the winning line in the 30th over.

Tuckers had arrived to see if we could could pick up more points than his tame effort in the Stanton Coronation Trophy and we matched his lame effort on the links with 18 points! Mind you this was a better effort than his attempt to dismantle the scorer's gazebo.