House Of Cards

The Stiffs batting collapsed like a house of cards away to Kimberley.

With Cowlard less likely to travel away from home than Steve Harmison we lost one all rounder, but gained another, as KCC's favourite pub landlord Meeky made the short walk up the hill from the Cricketer's Rest.

Leggy once again kept the squad guessing about his final selection until the last moment. Though this was mostly due to turning up at Nuthall having forgotten that the game had been switched to Kimberley's main ground! The Boss and Liam counted round the dressing room and however hard they tried could only come up with 10 players. There was no chance of JB getting a late call as he was away on a stag do, so we were fortunate to call on Neecey Snr who had packed his kit anticipating the usual shambles.

Dimps was fretting that he hadn't got his umpire's cards and the best we could muster was a three of clubs from Meeky's poker set.

Leggy lost the toss and we were sentenced to field in the hot weather. The Boss was all of a fluster so handed responsibility to Meeky to tinker with the field and bowling changes. It soon became clear this was a big scoring day with a rock hard pitch, fast outfield and the usual short boundary to one side.

However Liam and The Boss plugged away keeping a lid on the boundaries. Meeky used his local knowledge by keeping the short boundary well protected, and Billy was kept as busy as a pig searching for truffles on his way to a well earned fielding point.

Meeky and Billy kept the pressure on first change, but with the score approaching 100 we needed a breakthrough. Stu decided we needed to buy a wicket, and it looked like we would need to write a big cheque as Drurs was brought on with both openers licking their lips in anticipation. However, the Chairman had other ideas and managed to get one opener to play on in his first over. The paper boy came in at no.3 and Meeky decided it was best to keep him in, so kept Drurs on! The scoring rate slowed and Sam Nice got the other opener to play a loose shot to be caught at extra cover. The master plan back fired when Drurs caught the young lad off his own bowling.

The Cotgrave Connection came back for a second spell and bowled to the stengths of Kimberley's dangerous no.4 who raced away with a series of boundaries on the way to a quickfire half century. The last 10 overs were a flurry of big shots and wickets as the home side posted 210-9, by no means a big score in the conditions.

Leggy was once again the pick of the attack (8-1-31-3), supported by Meeky (12-1-41-2), Drurs (7-0-30-2) and Sam (5-1-16-1).

Tea was above average with melon the highlight on a hot day.

In reply Ern' opened up with Duncan Disorderly and both had the added pressure of facing a girl opening the attack, who lost nothing to the boys in terms of pace. The openers put on largely untroubled 66 before Drunk was bowled for 16. Ernie decided the best way to get the home side's spinner out of the attack was to send him to A&E, as a straight drive went though his hands and gave him a gashed lip like a Ricky Hatton upper-cut. The break in play as we mopped up the spilled claret broke Ernie's concentration and he was bowled after a wild slog for 38.

The middle order then collapsed like a deck of cards; Paul Lay made one-become-two for a duck, Meeky slogged a four then chipped to mid off, and Leggy got a golden, playing a dreadful Cowlard-swipe, that even Dimps had to give LBW. From 62-0 we had stumbled to 85-5.

Drurs reminded every incoming partner that this was the best batting pitch that most would ever see. And Liam listened smashing two sixes before mis-timing a pull to square leg for 17. The Chairman was then looking more stranded than a character from Lost as Billy then See-Soar lasted only an over between them.

At 136-8, Drurs decided to farm the strike and aim for maximum batting points. A flurry of boundaries got us to the important 180 mark in the 42nd over. Neecey Snr and Jnr were both bowled in quick succession to leave us all out for a disappointing 183. Drurs ended unbeaten on 85.

Although 7 points wasn't a terrible return for the day, Leggy summoned the batting numpties for a dressing down, but could barely find a bench big enough!