Aoife 23

After the thrilling tie against Belvoir, the Millers were determined to return to winning ways against Nottingham CC. With Dave Garland away, Dringy reintroduced himself to his teammates after a two month absence. TBC Bradley again dropped out, so Duncan Disorderly Tarran stepped up, and this time remembered to turn up. Aussie Parker also returned after a week on the lash in Crete with a new crewcut hairdo, and even smellier kit.

Losing the toss, the Millers were put in the field. A quivering Rendu returned to the changing room, as various new signings had made the Nottingham team seemingly invincible. Some players offered to give them the points, but we set out to clear the goose droppings off the wicket. Rendu and Strong opened up, and the Rocket Man was soon among the wickets, with Baker wiping the mayonnaise off his fingers and catching a low one at gully. “You’re bound to catch one out of ten” claimed the burly spinner. Strong was bowling well at the other end, but the ball was keeping low. “I got more bounce out of the missus this morning” boasted Dringy, to much amusement from the slip cordon. The wicket decided to prove the keeper wrong, as Strongy bowled a snorter that lifted off a length to get a well deserved caught behind. Soon after, he tempted the opener into another swish outside off stump, and the nick was snaffled at the second attempt by Birthday Boy Ladd in the slips. Suddenly, Rendu’s self belief returned, and proceeded to bowl one of the most devastating spells in modern KCC history – eight wickets, with six bastman bowled, four to swinging yorkers that uprooted middle stump. After another demolition job on the stumps, Meek repaired the wickets. “Do they look alright to you ump”? asked Meeky. “It doesn’t matter - he’ll only knock’em over again” retorted the umpire. Soon after, his prediction rang true, as the death rattle sounded for another Nottingham rabbit. Rendu’s cock-sure swagger was back. “Leg stump please umpire” said the incoming batsman. “It’s middle you need to worry about” replied Rocket, and duly knocked it over. Nottingham were all out for 50, with Rendu playing the captain’s role with 8-23. Rendu led the team off to rapturous applause, and suggested to wife Louie that they should rename their daughter “eightfor” rather than Aoife, in honour of his finest hour (and a half).

Tea was abject, with many of the players surrounding the latest Anderson picnic that was being unfurled. Barry spent the tea interval searching for his carving knife, as Rendu’s performance rocketed him on to the Hall of Fame honours board.

In response, Dessaur and Graham opened up. Surely nothing could go wrong? Dessaur was bowled second ball, with the umpire claiming it never moved off middle. Laddy had to put down his birthday cake in a hurry, and went out to steady the ship. Despite some early scares, the true Opening Pair did the business, with Graham slapping a few fours on his way to 38* to improve his average still further, whilst Laddy left the field with a world class 9*.
The day was Rocket’s, but the night was anyones. The Millers worst nightmare came true as the game ended at 4.30pm, allowing a bonus four hours of drinking. A few swift ones at the Clubhouse, were followed by a tour of West Bridgford. As the 2nds turned up at 9pm, most of the damage was done, as the club toasted Laddy’s 34th Birthday (hard to believe given his looks) and the birth of Olivia Baker. Rendu broke with tradition by buying champagne rather than a jug of ale, whilst the Reporter had to be taken home before closing as the party rumbled on.

MoM : Rocket Rendu
TFC : Dessy

MOM Total : Garland 1, DJ Sammy 1, Bobby 3, Bomber 4, Big Tone 1, Grant 1, Rocket Rendu 2