Heartbreak For Stiffs

A fantastic game of cricket saw the Stiffs lose out in the last over away at Long Whatton.

Leggy had clearly been reading his guide to village cricket describing the idyllic setting as "quintessentially English". Cowlard lost the toss and we batted on a belting looking pitch, but one that turned out to be Fools' Gold.

Lay Snr and Drury took the test match start time literally and set about batting all day. Cowlard was once again getting over-heated on the sidelines as Drury, Atherton-like, took 8 overs to get off the mark. Extras though were flowing nicely and we reached 25 off the first 13 overs on a disappointingly low and slow track. Then disaster: Ern' was sharply stumped and Top Man Burton was mortified to see his leg stump clipped next ball.

Star-all-rounder-in-waiting Benji brought out a marker pen to circle the middle on Drury's bat, and the scoring rate rose. Ben played another cameo before the impetuosity of youth got him playing too soon, caught by the paper boy in the covers for a breezy 25.

The slow surface didn't play to Beakey's sideways strengths. Butch was none too happy being out leg before for 10; but, various 'Hawkeye's' in the pavilion thought it pitched leg and would have hit middle, leaving Butch facing a hefty fine for dissent.

Cowlard couldn't resist a slog to the short leg side boundary and went for 11. Drurs' vigil was finally ended on 74 to a half-tracker that hit half way up off stump. Paul Lay got the biggest cheer of the day showing that one can get three, getting Dimps to somehow scamper the three runs needed to get to 180 and maximum batting points before the lunchtime break.

The long interval for the second-half of the football allowed us to savour a majestic spread, rated 11 out of 10 in most books. Impossible to pick a single highlight: chicken wings, bhajis, samosas, the melon platter and fruit trifle were on the shortlist.

We were tight in the reply conceding just 35 in the first 15 overs with Benji taking the first of two sharp caught and bowled's. Leggy was dressed like Greg Norman in the outfield and his bowling had more bite than previous weeks. At the other end we struggled as Drurs was slapped to the short leg side boundary.

It was run a ball stuff for the last 15 overs, but with a short boundary only wickets would slow the score. Ground fielding was excellent, Moley putting in several x-rated two footed tackles on the ball and Dimps waking from a slumber to grasp one at gully.

14 were needed off 3 overs and we needed inspiration. Then a riot. A lofty slog to the short boundary was still rising when Murali Burton, first checked his feet were inside the ropes, then plucked the ball one-handed for a miraculous catch. The opposition howled with horror claiming the Top Man's size twelves were over the line. Murali erupted like Vesuvius, red-hot expletives flowing like lava. The ump had no choice but to raise the finger. Poor old Butch was fielding in front of the baying on-lookers and copped some harsh banter.

11 were needed off the tense last over with two wickets remaining. The yips retuned for The Adonis bowling a Barnes-Wallace triple bouncing no-ball. The next ball went for 6 and all looked lost, before amazingly Evergreen Ern' took a top edged caught behind. With tension at fever-pitch, we couldn't protect the short boundary and the penultimate ball dribbled across the ropes.

One of the best games in many years, it had everything, just a shame we came a close second. Bowling figures were excellent: Cowlard 1-27 off 12, Benji 4-46, Boss Hog 2-34.

MOM: Drurs
MOM in running: Benji 2, Drurs 2, Cowlard 1, Top Man 1