Pitch Farce

The Stiffs were stuffed away at soggy Clifton. Cowlard lost a bad toss on a pitch looking more fertile than the Nile delta. Clifton’s First team postponement was the Third’s gain as their tear-away young quickie Footitt was drafted in.

The early overs were x-rated with steepling bounce from the plasticene surface. A half volley soared past Ernie’s nose, and Drurs’ copped one first on the lid then one in the ribs. It was hit out or get knocked out. Ernie sliced one to gully, gleefully skipping back to the hutch. Drurs was dropped twice off lofty slogs and was accused of making the game a ‘farce’ by the unhappy bowler. It was soon high farce as Drury was bowled, dashing off in search of an ice-pack, and DJ Vespa, promoted from the Firsts, followed next ball middle stump spreadeagled.

Top Man Burton and Butch found the change bowling friendlier. Butch notched a nap hand of fine, thick and choice chops and slices in an entertaining 28. Then controversy. Tony will be in the market for the Ladybird Book of Cricket, failing to give Burton out when the ball ricocheted off the keeper onto the stumps.

Meanwhile the Second’s Book Club was in session: Paul Lay, Grets and Tommy discussing the transition of the Da Vinci Code from novel to big screen. The erudite chat was interrupted by a low-flying duck en-route to the Field of Dreams. Sadly it put the Indian Sign on Grets. Cowlard soon followed, but not before a high level discussion on whether you could be caught off a wide.

Murali’s vigil finally ended on 39. Paul knocked in the middle of his new bat before mis-cueing to cover. Tommy played the shot of the day through cover as we limped to 125-9 off 35 overs. Tea was above average, chicken tikka sandwiches the highlight.

We made little use of the friendly bowling conditions serving up a platter of full tosses and long hops. Leggy was if anything stiffer than last week, but put it down to bowling up a non-existent hill.

A last throw of the dice saw skipper Cowlard return to take two quick wickets, Duncan taking a stunning catch running backwards, giving a lesson to some of the senior players with fingers more buttery than the tea-time flapjack.

But it was too little to late as Clifton easily reached the target for only five down.

MOM: Top Man Burton
MOM In-Running: Drury 1, Cowlard 1, Burton 1