Rougher than a Badger’s Bottom...

Yet another strong 1st XI took the field against Kirkby on Saturday, but failed to inspire the bumper crowd at the soggy Field of Dreams. Dessy escaped the clutches of his Amsterdam chums, and Dringy made a welcome return behind the sticks. Former keeper Garland was man-managed well by the senior pros – “keep your receipt for those gloves you’ve just bought”. Benji the Badger, like any nocturnal animal, hit his set at 7am, but was dragged from his hibernation to replace DJ Sammy, who was told to stay put in the Manchester Drizzle.

The covers were removed to show a “damp bottom end” – ironic given that the Indian Nights sponsor board made its debut. After a short delay, Kirkby were inserted by stand-in captain Baker. Strong took a wicket in his first over, but with Kirkby playing positively, wickets were the key. Baker grasped the nettle, and went for 16 in his first over. With more spin than Alistair Campbell, the captain convinced his troops he was bowling well, but his 11 overs for 76 didn’t fool the statisticians. Laddy was playing “slip catch lottery”, standing in the wrong place as four chances went where he had just moved from. Aside from that, the fielding was good until Strong returned to take the hat-trick that never was. Benji the Badger dropped a sitter as he longed for his set, Dring was left in two minds about taking the catch or the stumping and did neither, and then a bottom edge failed to remove the extra heavyweight bails. 178 off 35 overs was above par.

Tea was a magnificent performance from Lady Baker, who took the opportunity of the interval to re-introduce herself to her truant husband who has spent most of the pregnancy playing sport. Highlights were stuffed olives and Coffee and Walnut cake.

In response, KCC were never in it. Laddy failed again, as did Garland, keen to keep an eye on his shopping receipt. Queenslander Parker was caught second ball, bettered by Elliot who went for a golden. Bomber Graham, Dessy and Half-Australian Dale chipped in, but it was Baker who wagged the tail with some lusty blows. Three wickets in an over was the end for Keyworth, leaving Strong to keep another red-inker and extend his lead at the top of the averages.

MOM : Baker (for his wife’s teas rather than his bowling)
TFC : Benji The Nocturnal Badger

MOM Total : Garland 1, DJ Sammy 1, Bobby 1