Heads To Roll after Millers Collapse

After the resounding win on the opening day, the First team returned to their expected early season form, and lost at a soggy Attenborough.

The toss was lost and the Millers were in the field. Bradley returned from Lancashire with some new Northern insults, but mysteriously had “lost” all his cricket shirts, so “had” to wear his Lancashire shirt that he’d nicked from Freddie Flintoff.

Rocket looked flacid in his opening spell, lacking his normal erect bowling style. His decision to bowl round the wicket to the left hander (who wasn’t facing) left team-mates bemused. Rather than admit his crass error, he bowled a useful round the wicket spell to the right hander. Inroads were made once Strong bowled his first bad ball which was pulled to Meeky who took a smart catch. Rocket snaffled a wicket with another rubbish delivery, but then Gunslinger Parker entered town. After some huge wides, he found his aim, bowling the opposition Captain with a shooter. The normally quiet Australian reverted to type as he directed the batsman to the dressing room with a finger pointing, knee pumping celebration – a combination of Brett and Bruce Lee. At tea, Attenborough had managed 168 for 6 off 40 overs, helped by Baker bowling like a drain.

Tea was a civilised affair of plated ham salad with all the trimmings. Tea was eaten with knives and forks – a first for some in the Millers line-up.

The Keyworth reply started quickly with Ladd and Graham reunited once again in the middle. Laddy got a slightly better LBW than a fortnight before, and Gunslinger Parker also fell to the umpire’s trigger finger. Contributions from Bradley, Graham and Rendu got the team to 100-3, but within half an hour it was all over, as the strongest KCC batting side for years collapsed at the hands of two fifteen year old bowlers.

Sorrows were drowned in the Stratford Haven with some speed drinking. The disappearance of keeper Garland between Attenborough and Bridgford caused some concern, and the police have started a nationwide search. Getting just two runs, and letting through plenty of byes may have pushed the Kiwi over the edge – they don’t take defeat well.

MOM : DJ Sammy (for driving from Manchester).
TFC : Wensley Dale (he’s half Australian apparently)

MOM Total : Garland 1, DJ Sammy 1