Kitch Turns 30

A last ball loss for the Stiffs away at Attenborough spoilt a landmark day for Kitcho.

Cowlard continued his record of losing every toss this decade and we were put into a bat. The exposed Long Lane ground was windier than Leggy after an evening at Indian Nights, and it took gold arrow scouting skills for the home side to secure the temporary sightscreens. The outfield looked to have been allotments in a previous life, with most of the UK varieties of cabbage sprouting somewhere. Meanwhile there was more chance of life on the Moon than in the slow, low pitch.

Ern and Drurs set off like Paula Radcliffe in a 60m sprint, blocking out six maidens in the first eight overs, against the best opening attack we'd seen all year. Ernie decided to put the bowlers off their lengths by batting a yard outside his crease and then charging down the pitch to create half volleys from long hops. And it worked, scoring 25 out of the first 36 runs, before diasaster. Drurs hadn't run a three since he was 18 and settled for two after Ern drove a ball to mid on. Sadly the call got drowned out by a combination of the wind and the passing 2.12 from St.Pancras. Ern had plenty of opportunity to get back in his ground, but kept running and running ........ all the way to the pavilion!

Beakey joined Drurs for a gritty partnership of 68, with both scoring at least another 50 to fielders, before Drurs was out caught and bowled for a dull-as-ditchwater 39. Butch perished two overs later for 38.

Next ball, skipper Cowlard was soon one nearer to matching Courtney Walsh's record number of test match ducks. Kitcho treated the hat trick ball with little respect and breezed his way to a quick 17. Ted chipped in with 11 and Greeny 4 not out, before Kitch was out off the last ball to see us to 145-6 at tea, about 15 short of an ideal target as it turned out.

Tea was a great spread, the lack of any chairs or tables made it into an al fresco picnic. Sausage meat balls and Mr.Kipling's cherry bakewells were the exceedingly good highlights.

In reply AC and Kitch bowled just as tightly as the home side keeping the score down to 20 off the first 10 overs. Liam came on for Kitch and took a wicket with his first ball, AC taking a fine catch low at mid on. Leggy had fitness worries, barely able to see his feet, after a 10 course family banquet while away in Italy, and pulled up with cramp after his first ball. The Boss struggled through 8 overs for 27 runs. We had to wait for another breakthough until the score had passed 50 when Liam hit leg stump with a beautiful in-swinger.

Cowlard and Kitch came back for second spells. Cowlard finally got an LBW, after two more clear-cut appeals had been turned down, on the way to great figures of 1-23 off 12 overs. Kitch nipped in with two more wickets and we were well in the game at 95-5, with 50 needed off 10 overs.

A good 6th wicket partnership rescued Attenborough as our fielding showed signs of age. Leggy hobbled after an on-drive like Herr Flick of the Gestapo, only to collapse in agony on his back with cramp, his leg bolt upright, like a dog waiting for its belly to be scratched!

Kitch then swung the game back in our favour with a run out off his own bowling, and then a clean bowled to reach 30 wickets for the season - a fantastic achievement in his first season back after retirement. Kitch bowled out with 3-34 off his 12 overs.

It was even money with 30 needed off 4 overs and Attenborough's best batsman still at the crease. Some lusty slogs left about four needed off the last over, though it was hard to be sure as the scoreboard resembled the bottom line on an opticians eye test chart, and it was a case of 'should have gone to Specsavers' for most of the KCC fielders.

Liam went for two off the first ball, but then took two wickets in two balls. A scampered single left the scores tied with one ball to go and the no.11 on strike. Chaos reigned as a forward defensive saw everyone scrambling for the ball and Ernie's under-arm narrowly missing the stumps to see us lose in heart-breaking fashion. Liam finished with a season's best 4-38.

A great game, played in fine spirit.