A,B,C, Easy As 1,2,3

News reaches us from the Wiltshire branch of the Supporters' Club, post honeymoon.

A Darren Gough lookalike gives lessons in Rock n' Roll on Strictly Come Dancing. Len Goodman generously gave him a "Seven!"

Laddy was available for comment: "The big fella had worse footwork than Bell, Bopara and Collingwood put together".