Stiffs Soar to Victory

Thanks to The Adonis for a guest match report.......

The Stiffs recorded a narrow victory away at Clifton, coping with a threadbare squad with Cowlard and Beakey up to the Firsts and Drurs away on Laddy's stag do.

We played on the bottom pitch at Clifton. There was a match on the top pitch with not enough room in the pavilion for four teams to change, so we were offered facilities apparently somewhere near Barton-in-Fabis which were declined, so whites were donned either in or behind our cars - thank God for a bit of sun and the windbreak of the surrounding hedge. Ernie opted for a spot on the boundary where he could wave to passing traffic!

Ted had been a little delayed and with AC on duty at the Field of Dreams, Leggy was acting captain, took the toss, won it and inserted the opposition on a pitch that was hard but had more moss than a hanging basket. Dimp was back in action due to AC's promotion, but we still took the field with only ten men with Chris Soar taking station on the A453, waiting for his dad. He had arrived at the ground on time, but apparently the knot had fallen out of his hankie - he had remembered his cricket bag, but there were no whites in it and an emergency call was put out for their delivery.

Boss Hogg opened the bowling from the top end and immediately got fluctuating bounce which had the openers contained and struggling. Kitch opened from the boulevard end and bowled with good variation beating the bat outside off several times in his first few overs. Leggy was first to break through, the batsman miscuing with a top edge that took off vertically over keeper Paul Lay and Boom Boom at 1st slip, Ted took off after it, ran in a large circle like a hen with its head off and pouched a difficult catch, the ball arriving over his right shoulder.

In Kitch's next over, the other opener tried a cover drive off a well pitched up ball, got a thick outside edge to gully which disappeared into Dimp's large buckets. 23 for 2 was a good start. The Clifton No. 3, who appeared to have as much knowledge of batting as Attila the Hun had about diplomacy then proceeded to balloon the ball about the ground, always managing to avoid the fielders. Two easy chances were put down off consecutive balls from Leggy, who was heard to comment before the next: 'Here we go lads - hat trick ball!'

First change was Liam, who bowled a good spell with the No 3 still riding his luck and finding gaps and keeping the scoreboard ticking. Kitch then had the No 4 dismissed with a lofted drive to Ted at mid-off and Liam removed the No. 5 shortly after. Billy Harrison then came on to replace Kitch and showed how much he has progressed, bowling good left-arm in-swing and beating the bat many times. Ted then came on at the top end after Liam's spell and bowled tidily, removing the No 6. During this time Clifton's No 3 completed a very streaky 50.

JB then came on in 36th over from the boulevard end and in his second over, persuaded the No 3 to have a dance down the wicket and Paul Lay removed his bails for a smart stumping. Clifton's No 8, who in build resembled a brick outhouse, departed cheaply, facing his first ball from the Adonis surrendered with a straightforward c & b. The final wicket came in Leggy's last over, JB taking a running (yes, running) catch at deep mid-off. Final score 148 for 9

Tea was fair with sandwiches fresh but in short supply, the high spot being fresh doughnuts which Leggy pronounced 'excellent - very jammy,' but wouldn't say how many he had eaten!

Keyworth's innings opened with Ted and Ernie. Clifton's wicketkeeper amazingly was smaller than Ernie, but then he was only twelve! Ted and Ernie started circumspectly against a steady opening attack, Ernie again confounding the opposition by punching a boundary forward of point! Both openers appeared to have settled into their game when Ernie got the slightest of nicks and was back in the hutch. Duncan Disorderly then scratched around for three or four overs before departing cheaply then Leggy came in and promptly dispatched his first delivery over backward square for a one-bounce four!

Leggy's innings was a short but entertaining affair, ending with a top edge which nearly hit him on the head on its way back down to the young wicketkeeper. Paul Lay kept Ted company for a while and looked comfortable until being dismissed by a good catch at point. The bowling (from the Clifton brick outhouse) had now become increasingly ragged and Mr. Extras (who had also played well for us at Ruddington) was chasing Ted's score.

Having attracted no bids on eBay, Kitch came in and in typical style tried to break his new bat during a relatively short innings, swinging like the proverbail rusty gate. He was dropped first ball, smashed one six which nearly made the petrol station at the bottom of Green Lane, but then perished, caught trying to hit over the infield. Ted was then out, from a catch at short extra cover which everyone watching thought the fielder had dropped, however the fielder claimed it and the umpire upheld the claim.

Our batting now looked rather fragile, twenty-odd needed and only the rabbits available. However, we needn't have worried, the brick outhouse kept bowling wides and the odd no-ball, but then Liam got the only straight one he bowled and was trapped LBW. Young Chris Soar then joined Billy Harrison in the middle, only to be joined by Dimp when Billy perished for one. Chris and Dimp saw us home with two leg-byes and three scampered byes for a two-wicket win with five overs to spare. (Not certain of Ted's score, but Mr. Extras got 57, his second half century of the season)!