Butch Chops Down Rudd

On the 25th anniversary of Forest's first European Cup win, the Stiffs went in search of their own overseas glory to, err..... Ruddington.

As usual Leggy had been up at 4 am nervously fretting about the big game, however for a change he was coming back in from a night on the tiles. Duncan Disorderly was in love somewhere so we were fortunate to rescue Chris Soar from the scorer's chair to make up the eleven.

This would be a good test as only a few seasons ago we were playing Rudd 2nd's, but now up against their 1sts. Standards had been raised since our last visit to Elm Park and put skipper Cowlard in a pre-match quandry........

Under a scorching sun Cowlard played a blinder at the toss, joking with the opposition captain that whoever won would obviously bat, only to insert the opposition for the 101st consecutive time.

The Millers' pitch experts had read the deck as a moss infested minefield with a surface less well bound than an apple crumble. It played like a road.

As seems to be the rule in Division K, the Rudd openers set off at 20/20 pace. The score rattled along at literally a six an over, as Leggy then Kitch disappeared for maximums into the playground and bowling green. At 48-0 off 10 overs it was not just the sun that was getting skipper Cowlard hot under the collar.

Finally Kitcho bowled full and straight to knock over the dangerous pinch hitter for a quick fire 34. Ernie had been trying to get JB into the bowling attack since May 2003 and finally got his wish. The Adonis had played at Rudd for nearly 40 years before his big money move to Keyworth and knew the surface like the back of his hand. He didn't disappoint with a wily spell of slow spin that had the Rudd batters groping.

Our catching throughout was fantastic, apart from one howler. A leading edge from the number 3 appeared to be going straight to either mid wicket, extra cover, or gently back over the bowler's head, depending on the excuse given by Drury, Dearden or Legge, the fielders more static than Easter Island statues, and bowler Legge reprising his The Price is Right hand flapping routine all too late as the ball almost landed on the stumps. The pressure built and the other opener finally ran out of patience and Mr Dearden took a smart overhead catch off The Boss.

Into his 10th over JB finally got a deserved wicket nipping one back round the no.4's legs. Drurs then made up for his earlier horlicks by taking a fine catch in the deep to see The Adonis finish with splendid figures of 2-27 off his 12. Phil then secured his second fielding point with an excellent run out.

The lower order had no answer to Kitcho's second spell as Cowlard took 2 catches and Ernie a blinder. Some late slogging took the score to 169-9 at the break, a fine effort. Kitch took 4-48, Cowlard 1-47 and Boss Hogg 1-41.

Tea was at best dreadful with sandwiches the thickness of tissue paper. Not a single highlight to report.

In reply this was the best bowling attack we'd faced for a couple of years, but Ernie found the short backward point boundary to his liking in a brief cameo before departing for 13 in the 3rd over.

There was a running commentary all afternoon from the Rudd fielders, more hyperactive than the studio audience for Britain's Got Talent. The next 10 overs were constantly described as "Test Match Cricket" as Drurs and Beakey did their best to see off the opening attack. Drurs was happy to leave anything wide from the left arm quickie, driving him to distraction. "Why don't you try to hit one?" asked the quick, "Bowl a half volley on off stump and I will" replied Drurs. The bowler obliged and the scoreboard began to tick over.

The 50 came up in the 15th over and the opening bowlers seen off. The sweet spot on Matt Prior's reject bat was growing by the over to the size of a rugby ball as Beakey smashed a series of straight drives. The fielders were watching another game though feeling Butch's shots were "wishy washy".

At 84-1 off 23 overs we were well on top. The 24th over effectively ended the contest. The Rudd first change had bowled ok but was put off by Drurs hitting one off the square, and suddenly got the yips. His next over was a marathon. After 17 balls with 10 wides and 2 no balls Dimps was in danger of taking off with all the hand signals. The bowler couldn't go on and his mate had to send down the final ball of the over from hell.

It was then plain sailing as we cracked the ball to all parts. Drurs brought up his 50 with his 8th boundary despite not having played a single good shot according to the fielding side. By now the silence was deafening and Beakey quickly followed suit. Both batters ended on 54 not out, with extras unbeaten on 52! A partnership of 154 that saw us home in the 33rd over.

Another clinical run chase, a fine all round team performance, played in a fine spirit with plenty of enjoyable banter! The only downside was a widespread outbreak of pad rash, no surprise given that we are 760 for 13 over the last month! Heady days.

Most were in need of a 2nd tea back at The Sal, with Boss Hogg now on week 5 of his Samit Patel crash diet.