Kitch Sinks Stapleford

Another well timed run chase gained the Stiffs an emphatic 19 point win over new opponents Stapleford.

The selection merry-go-round would have taxed the combined talents of Billy Smart and Gerry Cottle with personnel changes all the way through the morning. Ted kept his faith in youth replacing the injured Scooby with the young Adonis.

Cowlard took over the captaincy and found the toss was a complete mis-match, looking up at the 7 foot goliath leading the visitors. Happily we won the toss, and unhappily AC chose to bowl for the 100th consecutive occasion.

Dimps was all of a fluster having forgotten his umpire’s shirt, wristwatch, and sense of balance: still smarting from the blow to his knee the week before, and struggling to live down the fact that it was Drurs who had hit the ball!

The Stapleford innings was a stop-go affair, starting like the Timeless Test, followed by a 2020 slog. The first 10 overs went for only 18 runs, Cowlard and Leggy bowling tight lines, the skipper getting the first breakthrough caught behind, while Leggy was clearly benefiting from an extra hour’s kip after his pre-dawn pitch inspection.

Duncan had brought along the future Mrs Disorderly for her first experience of village cricket. Sadly Dunc spent the afternoon dreaming about his intended, managing to misfield the ball twice in one delivery: first allowing the ball between his legs, then somehow turning a drama into a crisis by tripping over his feet and kicking the ball over the boundary.

Stapleford’s man mountain came in at 3 and clearly dealt only in boundaries; mixing gentle defensives with vicious slogs, all of which rattled to the rope as Kitch and Leggy went for 5 quick 4’s.

Mr Dearden came on first change up the hill and helped us to turn the match. The Stapleford giant whacked a straight drive that was homing in on Phil’s crown jewels like a tomahawk missile. Somehow the ball lodged between Phil’s thighs and he joyfully clasped the catch, happy to have kept us in the game and his wedding tackle intact.

The middle order carried on with a shot a ball as if this was a 36 over match. Despite plenty of boundaries we kept chipping in with wickets. Kitcho followed a clean bowled with a carbon copy to bring up his 300th career wicket. And then revealed himself as the heir apparent to Barry’s archive, noting that the 2 wides in his spell were only the 4th and 5th in his 15 year career!

Fraser bowled a sharp spell taking 1-23 in 6 overs, and Leggy came back to get the first, and probably only, LBW decision from Dimps this season, finishing with a fine 2-27 from 11 overs. Kitcho returned to mop up the tail, arriving on a hat trick ball for the second week running, only to narrowly fail. Kitch ended with 4-33 and AC 2-52 as the visitors were all out for 165 in only the 40th over.

JB earned the fielding point with a series of diving stops at slip showing the benefit of a lifetime’s rucking and mauling.

Tea by Cowlard was a joy to behold. A high fruit content was in keeping with the hot weather, though jumbo pickled onions and chocolate marshmallows were the retro highlights.

In reply the track had dried out to a road and Evergreen Ern and Drurs were untroubled reaching 45 in 15 overs. Then the introduction of slow stuff had us in a spin. Ern ran out of concentration on 18 and, as so often, one brought three. First Private Stretton played down the wrong line to be caught behind for a duck, then Cowlard played a rash upper cut to fall in the same way for 9. At 66-3 we were wobbling.

Drurs though was harder to shift than a limpet, bothered only by the sight of Duncan canoodling in his favourite extra cover slot. Butch, celebrating our new sponsorship from Bob Green the village butcher, started streakily, but was soon cutting and chopping finely to the boundary.

With the confidence of last week’s epic run chase, it was just a case of keeping wickets in hand with only 4 an over required. The pair were largely untroubled, creating Barry more work, with an unbeaten 100 partnership. Drurs ended on 62 and Butch a fluent 53.

Dimps was clearly thirsty uprooting the stumps as the double figure crowd cheered Beakey’s milestone, only to find the scores were still level. This drew an even bigger cheer, but the victory was secured next ball for a 7 wicket win in the 43rd over.

Retreating to The Saluatation, Leggy once again showed the importance to athletes of refuelling properly. All great fun, played in a fine spirit, and we look forward to the return fixture.