They think it's all over

The last nail went in the coffin as the Millers were subjected to a final defeat of the season against Champions elect Attenborough.

With the usual selection and communication headaches, KCC turned up with 10 men as Skipper Rendu wasn’t aware of Alex Sheriston’s fetlock injury that made him unavailable. As the umpires were patiently waiting outside the away changing room for the team sheet, Rocket was calling everyone in his phonebook to find a replacement. Young Chris Soar came to the rescue but had to be picked up form Keyworth. Fortunately Rocket won the toss and elected to bat allowing the mercy dash to be completed.

The travelling away supporters came to see Ernie Lay get the 13 runs he needs to complete 5,000 career runs for the first XI. He and Father Ted opened up but struggled to get the opening seamers away, before Young Ern was caught trying to release the shackles for 2. Still, there’s plenty of time left to get the remaining 11 runs he so deserves.

When Emma Dale retuned to the wicket following last week's holiday, Bobby called that this would be the most boring 50 seen this year. Fortunately Two-X was out of earshot of his team-mates encouragement, but duly obliged in making Drurs look like KP on acid as he made a snails pace 51 in 120 balls. Attenborough’s off-spinning Pro bowled tight lines (2-22 off 11) was more patient than Big Ted (15) as he was bowled when trying to hit over the top. Skipper Rendu (7) came in and smacked a couple of boundaries before being dropped and then caught behind in the same over. Meeky and Dale then put on a useful stand with Stuart hitting 30 in 42 balls including a massive 6 over the pavilion into the road.

Dougie Bayford (17*) and Rob Baker (7) came in late on to eke the score on to 149-6 in the 48 overs

Tea was the best away performance of the year, with hot pasta, pizza and salad making the main course, with clotted cream scones and ice cream to follow. The tea ladies were presented with flowers and the Safi Pro made a speech which left the KCC players looking for the subtitles.

150 was never going to be enough, and with the Pro opening up, the home side looked to make quick work of the total to enable the promotion party to get into full swing. The Millers were running a secret sweepstake to see how many pieces of awful sledging the non-bowling skipper would come out with this week, with the spread raging from 6 to 15. With 2 uttered in the first over it looked as if the skipper would be going for a new world record! Surprising everyone though, Steve redeemed himself but pulling out a couple of lines the had everyone laughing, including likening the lanky wide brimmed hat wearing No4 to “Laddy on a hot wash”.

Andy Hiller seemed determined to get an LBW decision, but evidently needed to brush up on the rule book…

…or perhaps he was thinking up his own rules…



after the 100th turned down appeal the toys finally came out of the pram as the less angry Hiller sister finally lost his rag.

This forced a change of bowling and hilariously Meeky got an LBW from the same umpire first ball!! Andy couldn't believe it!

Liam Elliott has the pace to be a very good opening bowler for the first team in the coming years, but he must learn there is no point beating himself up about bowling the odd bad ball. He bowled a corker to the opening bat and got him caught behind for a proper wicket.

The Pro hit 50 in 37 balls as the wind was finally knocked out of the KCC attack, seeing Dave Hiller-sister despatched for 15 in his first and only over. The winning runs were finally hit in the 22nd over with the Pro carrying his bat for 75*.

The Millers then rushed back across town to see the final throws of the Stiffs game to encourage them to get the promotion they deserve.