Stiffs Cave In To Caythorpe

A run fest ended in defeat for the Millers in the top of the table clash against Caythorpe.

The usual pre-match carry-on with team selection meant we had 12 players at 1.00. Poor Dougie hadn't been told he was needed by the Firsts so had to take his hangover with him to Radcliffe. Ted went for a rub down on the physio's couch in despair and left Cowlard to toss up with Kingy. Proving that miracles do happen, Cowlard not only won the toss but also decided to bat.

A week of sunshine had produced a belting pitch and a rapid outfield. Sadly Evergreen 'Ern missed out well caught for 3 early on, but Ted and Drurs weren't about to make the same mistake and put on our best partnership of the season. Ted was in glorious form with trademark clips off his legs, including one beautiful six to the Village Hall boundary. Drurs meanwhile played arrow straight driving Kingy to distraction. The pair had put on 137 when Ted holed out for a majestic 62.

Rock God Garland defied a nasty bout of pad rash to blast out of the blocks with three boundaries in the first over he faced, and we were well set for a large total. After 100 balls of proper cricket Drurs tried a Cowlard slog and was bowled middle stump for 82. Rocky Rainsford perished for 4 trying the same, and it was left to AC himself to show how Twenty20 cricket should be played with some mighty biffs in a 12 ball 20. In the last over scramble Paul Lay got the ball of the day for a golden duck and Liam whacked a valuable boundary. DG remained unbeaten on 30 as we posted 229-6, our highest score for many a year.

Lorraine's tea was an almighty feast and showed why Ted still struggles to get into his club kit! Roasted pepper pasta combined beautifully with the chicken tikka wraps. The fruit platter was demolished on such a hot day, the skinned melon especially appreciated by the lazier KCC fatties. However the highlight of this and many other a season was undoubtedly the lemon cheesecake with the gingernut base option just getting the nod over the digestive variety.

Any thoughts of weighing Kingy down were offset by the vast amounts of sugar rushing through his veins as he tucked into our opening attack with the same gusto as the clotted cream scones.

And in truth the less said about our bowling and fielding the better. But what the heck...... Cowlard bowled another fine opening spell but Shaun kept finding gaps in the field with leading edges that went further than the middle of Drurs bat! Caythorpe were always ahead of the run rate and the 50 was up before we got the first wicket, Liam producing a great in-swinger in his first over. Kingy soon followed with another edge off JB with Davey G calling a safe mark under the skier.

Runs then came in a hurry. The Adonis was struggling to hit the lipstick and had full tosses severely punished. And we weren't helped by probably our worst fielding of the season with everyone seeming to fumble or dive over simple stops. Even the astroturf was against us, twice sending the ball into orbit and over Duncan Disorderly's head to the boundary. Leggy rose above the dross with a couple of diving saves at cover point, but then went from Jonty to Monty with a fumble worse than Scott Carson.

Meanwhile a function at the Village Hall was resembling an episode of Gladiators with all manner of games spilling onto the outfield. Ted had to pull on his flourescent Health and Safety jacket to usher the competitors back behind the boundary line - it fell on deaf ears! And we could have done with some extra fielders in any case.

Barrie and the returning Cowlard did their best to slow the scoring, Ted taking a magic catch at deep mid on to give us some hope. We just didn't have enough fielders and Boom Boom was put on the clock by the umpires for time wasting with the pubs now open. The visitors only needed 4 an over off the last 10 and cruised home with 2 overs to spare.

450 runs in the day, the wrong result, but a fine game played in the right spirit. And many thanks to Dimp for umpiring. Boss Hogg's calculator will need plenty of decimal places to split us at the top of the table and all is still to play for.

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