Stiffs Wilt In Heat

Finally a glorious day of weather but a very rusty display from the Stiffs at home to Caythorpe.

News that Kingy was in the opposition squad saw Cowlard and Leggy practising their run ups mid-morning. Sadly the ex-KCC legend wasn't available, or as some suggested didn't make it out of the Railway Inn on time.

Father Ted, after a week away, won the toss and decided to bowl. Duncan Disorderly kindly offered to score, looking to rekindle his on, but mostly off, relationship with the Caythorpe scoregirl.

Cowlard and Liam bowled good opening spells and AC made the first breakthrough getting the paper boy opener to play on. Then high controversy. The Caythorpe no.3 played back to a Cowlard straight one and was rapped on the pads. The umpire's finger went up sending Cowlard jubilant. However, the batter stood his ground and Ernie reckoned there had been the thinnest of inside edges, that even Sky's 'hot spot' would have struggled to detect. By a minority vote of 2 to 9 the decision was overturned and left AC fuming: "do they ******* know how ******* hard I try to get ******* wickets" he raged to Drurs at mid-off. AC steamed in for the rest of his spell and had the last laugh with a repeat delivery that this time hit the stumps.

First change up the hill, Sheriff Hallam had as tighter rein on the runs as with the KCC cheque book, bowling his first 6 overs for 1 run. Paper boy no.2 had barely enough strength to hit the ball off the square, and Paul Lay saw common sense to drop a straight forward chance to keep the young lad in. Liam came back down the hill and finally put the opener out of his misery, Dave Garland leaping to take a catch at the back of the line out. 50-3 at halfway was a good start.

The Caythorpe middle order though batted very well, and without top fielders Benji and Potty, we lacked agility in the field: Leggy was in trouble with Trading Standards for wearing a T-shirt displaying 'Rush' beneath his KCC jersey.

One of the Hemmings clan smashed a rapid 62 and others chipped in. We spilt several simple catches, but finally DJ Spence plucked a great catch at deep square, a fine effort given that he had one eye on Club Brazilia that had relocated for the day to the outskirts of the Scout Hut.

211-8 at tea was about par. Cowlard led the way with 4-55, Liam took 3-41, Sheriff got some late tap to end with 1-33.

Tea by Jude was a high feast. Fresh pineapple and jelly beans were among the many highlights.

In reply we set off well, Ernie finding gaps between the four fielders placed between 3rd slip and 2nd gully. But the opposition got wise to Ernie, bowling a wide full toss that was guided to 4th gully, to see him out for 18. This was a typical day when everyone got in then got out. Drurs had reached 38 without alarm before foolishly playing back to a pie from the spinner that bounced half way down and rolled along the ground. DJ Spence was bowled for a hard fought 11, while Dave G chased a wide one to slip for 6. Paul Lay hit a big 6 on the way to 19, Cowlard likewise in his 16. But we were never close and it was left to Leggy to clip a four off his legs to at least get us a 2nd batting point. 137-8 was a rusty reply.

More high jinks followed after the match. We were barred entry from the Buzz by a Hen Party taking place with male strippers. We relocated to the Sal' beer garden only to find that JB didn't turn up. The Buzz wouldn't comment as to whether 'The Adonis' was part of the evening's entertainment. Ted was refreshed by his new found liking of Guinness with a dash of orange, known as 'Guinness for Girls' in the Garland Dictionary of Drink.

MOM: Andy Cowlard

MOM in running: Jean 1, Potty 1, BJ 1, Sheriff 2, Murali 1, Dangerous 1, Drurs 1, Wensley 1, Liam 1, Cowlard 1