A Very Tour Display

A new season dawned for KCC’s 1st XI with the trip to West Bridgford to play Gedling & Sherwood. Rumours were rife that the Millers had played half a dozen games in May & early June, but no-one could remember. Heavy rain on Friday had given hope to the touring members of the first team that yet another game would be called off, but no such luck. The Nottingham Evening Post had been aware of early season results, and sent a photographer to get some pictures of the all-conquering KCC, who were apparently sitting pretty at the top of Division B. However, on his arrival for the pre-match photo, and as Rendu went out to toss, only six players had arrived, which included the luckless Rob Beake, who was playing only his second game of the season – both of them at the shambles of a ground behind the defunct Chateau Pub. Opening pair Graham & Ladd had been delayed back from Suffolk by a sluggish performance by the Little Chef. Rendu had little option but to win the toss and bat on a pudding of a wicket.

With the photographer about to leave on his scooter to re-join the Paparazzi chasing C-list celebrities around Nottingham, Graham & Ladd swept into the car park, and with a quick change, were ready for the photo call. And so it was recorded in perpetuity that Keyworth topped Division B in mid July with only 8 players! The Hiller twins (in a slow car from Suffolk) and late call-up Ted Elliott (extracating himself from his duties at home and the Keyworth Show to play) failed to show.

The game finally got underway, and the Millers performance stank of post-tour blues. Laddy got a half-volley that spat up to nearly take his head off and was caught behind, quickly followed by Graham who was keen to get home before tea. Parker had his second stand-off with an umpire in three games, refusing to walk to a catch at cover. “It never carried” claimed Honest Grant Parker, but he was sent packing, with the official photographer providing evidence the ball carried. Tindsley, having left tour a day early to prepare for the big game, went for a duck and the Millers were all at sea at 13-4, but safe in the knowledge that the KCC lowest ever score was well passed. Rendu and Dougie decided to attack, and along with Strong’s swashbuckling 33, a score of 93 all out was posted. Not great, but with a thick outfield and a spongy wicket, the Millers went to tea licking their lips. This proved pointless, as most were struggling to keep their tour excesses down, and with no running water on site, the lavatorial facilities made Galstonbury Festival loos look regal.

In reply, Gedling lost two quick wickets to Strong, who had refused to tour, proving that a clear head always benefits sporting performance. Graham dropped a dolly at second slip, and the middle order steadied the Gedling ship with some airy shots that failed to go to hand. Three quick wickets for Graham, Strong and Andy Hiller gave the Millers hope, but one fruitful over got Gedling within touching distance. The final boundary of the match summed it all up. Ladd, banished from first slip after four consecutive drops, was left helpless as Ted Elliot let a regulation head high snick go through his out-stretched hands to the boundary for the winning runs. Never have a five-foot six first slipper!

Star Man Dave Strong pleaded with his team-mates for a post-match beer, but he got short shrift as the tired tourists headed home to pillows and cocoa.

MOM : Dave Strong
TFC : Grant Parker
MOM Total : Ian Graham 1, Andy Hiller 1, Grant Parker 1, Dave Strong 2, Bobby Baker 1