Hiller Thriller

An amazing last over maiden, with a run out off the last ball, saw a second successive tie in the KCC Twenty20 on Bank Holiday Monday.

The Field of Dreams looked a picture with Laddy's Bar and the BBQ Gazebo decked out in bunting.

The sun also made a few guest appearances, but the stumps had taken no chances, once again benefiting from a St.Tropez spray tan.

Laddy's house warming the previous day had brought on all manner of drink related injuries. The host himself was lame with a stiff neck, though a gentle massage with club physio Gemma in the beer tent seemed to put a spring back in his step. Dave G was another to rock up looking pale, blaming the prawns that he had himself cooked, but was forced to field barefoot until reinforcements arrived.

Dale’s ‘Green Shirts’ batted first and set off at a canter. The skipper was first out for a quick-fire 16.

This brought Grant to join Kingy at the crease. After a season to remember, this was a day to forget for the brash Aussie. After last year’s full bunger incident the pair were still clearly not on the same wavelength, Kingy calling for a quick single and Grant, still half asleep from the previous night’s excess, was run out without facing. The same thing happened to Geoff Baker the previous year, who moaned that he’d driven two hours for the pleasure, Granty reminded everyone that he’d flown for 24 hours.

This brought on the clash of the lightweights: Hiller v Hiller. And it was Dave who landed a knockout blow in the first round, clean bowling sister Andy for a duck.

At 30-4 the game was looking more like a Ten10. Fortunately Dale had bolstered the middle order with two heavyweights. Meeky carried on his fine form retiring with a brutal 28. Boom Boom was more restrained, pulling a fetlock, and needing a runner on his way to 23 off his maximum 30 balls.


Drurs came to the wicket to find the usual Boycott-banter from the close fielders and most of the crowd making for Laddy’s Bar. More disconcerting though were the array of jelly beans on and around a length. But it was lollipops that Dougie bowled and Drurs happily carted 26 off just 15 balls..........

.........to general amazement, especially his captain!!

Potty and Top Man Burton pushed on to be unbeaten on 18 and 19 to leave the Greens 160-4 after 20 overs.

Dave Hiller was the pick of the bowlers taking 1 for 6 with a maiden, star all-rounder Ball less so going for 31 off his two overs.

During the interval Laddy’s Bar continued a roaring trade, although the proprietor was taking a leaf too many out of Peggy's book, leaving most of the serving to the Mitchell Sisters, Lorraine and Rebecca covering for their wayward boss.

On return the landlord was not amused at the level of under-age drinking being encouraged on his patch.

Meanwhile the BBQ gazebo was in danger of becoming a remake of the Towering Inferno such was the demand for fat-filled fayre. Happily Sheriff Hallam was on hand to offer fire safety advice.

Fit to pop, umpires Cottee and Elliott led out Tinno’s ‘Black Shirts’ for their reply.

Potty charged in down the hill like a young Bob Willis and set the tone with 5 wides! Duncan Disorderly was unlucky to play on for a duck.

Bally nudged his way to 7, but was another bamboozled by Murali Burton's mystery straight ball.

Dave Hiller-Sister secured his MVP award with a scratchy 25 while Nellie Baker took advantage of the field restrictions and garbage bowling for a quick 20.

Andy Hiller then bowled Rob and set up the highlight of the innings. Skipper Tinno, with a lofty Twenty20 reputution, failed completely to deliver, caught and bowled first ball.

This set up a hat-trick ball with Liam striding to the wicket with the strains of Amy Whitehouse’s ‘Rehab’ ringing in his ears. Quick as a flash Andy realised the potential cost of a round of Kwenchy Kups, and sent down a wide that Liam happily let go. Liam made a quick 6 before Kingy was even more amazed than Matt Prior at taking a stumping.

Most of Dale's bowlers were skulking on the boundary as Bomber strode to the crease. Drurs was the sacrificial lemming as IG retired on 25 after 11 balls.

By this stage Shelley's calculator had run out of spare batteries.

Despite setting 8 fielders in the arc between mid wicket and cow corner, Cowlard chipped his way to 27 helped by some dreadfully rigid fielding.

Dougie came to the crease, only for a mid wicket conflab to be interupted by fellow Aussie Grant, telling him to get back to his crease. GP charged in off a run that started halfway up Selby Lane, but was knackered by his deliver stride and Dougie took advantage with a glorious cover drive.

Dale was fretting as the run rate fell below 6 an over, but had trump card Sticky still to play.

The Keyworth Legend ambled in up the hill, roared on by Jack Palmer's Barmy Army, and wheeled away in delight as Dougie played all round an in-swinger.

The last thing the Green Shirts wanted to see was Scooby bristling to the crease with Fog on the Tyne ringing in his ears, and the game looked to be up as Tony raced to 13.

With the scores tied and an over to go, Steve Potts surely only had to lay bat on ball to secure the win. But tension built as miss followed swing.

With Andy Hiller proving more miserly with the ball, than when standing at the bar, Steve literally swung himself off his feet in a vain attempt to find the elusive last run.

Amazingly one was still needed off the last ball. Steve set off for the run before Andy had even started his run up. Chaos reigned as Scooby charged from the non striker's end. Kingy threw down the stumps at one end.

While Meeky plucked an old ball out of his pocket and whipped off the bails at the other. Umpires Cottee and Elliott raised their fingers in unison and the game was thrillingly tied.

Another great day for the club and the Cottee Trophy hasjust will not be won outright.


Thanks to everyone for coming, we raised around £300, which has pretty much made HMS Collison fully paid for.

Special thanks to:

Laddy's Bar staff: Laddy, Lorraine, Rebecca
BBQ chefs: Jude, Jean, Cliff
Snap Happy Chris Hepburn for taking photos
Dale and Tinno for sorting out the teams and songs
Leanne for selling programmes and Matt for printing them for free
Shelley for somehow keeping count in the scorer's tent
Cllr Cottee for umpiring
Benji for manning the decks
And to our sponsors: KingStone, Internet Ink, Indian Nights and Cottee Fibres for their generous support