Stiffs Stuffed by Shepshed

A quite abject batting display by the Stiffs away at Shepshed was badly timed, and rules out any chance of promotion this year.

Stand in skipper Leggy was already racking up the fines before play began. Firstly Top Man Burton had been overlooked in mid-week selection, only to receive a late call up. Secondly, it would have been easier to find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow than Shepshed’s ground. The Millers spent most of the pre-game warm up in their cars doing more laps of the town centre than in the Monaco grand prix. Ernie sensibly thought that Shepshed would play in the place of the same name, and did a tour of Leicestershire before finding out that Loughborough was actually where to head to.

Fortunately Leggy won the toss and bowled on a pitch rolled from plasticine. Balls were popping from the off and Drurs soon had Dave Garland ushered to short extra looking for a leading edge. Although told to pitch it up, the plan worked immediately, as Dave Hiller bowled a rank log hop that caught the bottom of the bat for Judy to snaffle a great low catch.

The Shepshed batters clearly knew how to bat on the pitch, realising it was only a matter of time before receiving an unplayable ball, so set about slogging Moley, Dave Hiller and Leggy to unlikely parts. The new ball disappeared for six into a barbed wire compound, and the replacement balls were dreadful, so bizarrely we had the use of another new ball after five overs.

While catching was patchy: Drurs, Butch and Hiller spilling sharp chances, ground fielding was farsical: Leggy rolling around like a pig in muck trying to get the ball in to Butch with the opposition batters stranded. Billy Smart would have nodded with approval. It was left to young Joe Jani to show the way with a magic direct hit to end the tip and run tactics.

Father Jitz managed to slow the rate down with some crafty flight, but afterwards it was a fast and furious finish. Joe Jani took three wickets in four late overs, nearly taking a hat-trick on debut, but also copped some clobber: some of the Miller’s batters were concerned by Leggy reassuring Joe that “we don’t mind seeing that” as another slog bounded away to cow corner.

Dave Hiller returned sniffing some late scalps and was unplayable with a series of snorting short pitchers. Leggy plonked himself into slip and was overjoyed to catch a rebound from Beakey’s gloves. Hiller was himself then on a hat-trick but narrowly failed. Poor Moley then got the lashing of the Twin’s tongue, not getting a hand on the simplest of catches, as the need for anger management classes became all to apparent for young Hiller.

Needing a wicket from the last over for maximum bowling points, Dave did the sensible thing and delivered six short pitchers. 167-9 at the break off the reduced 36 overs was a big score. Dave had best figures of 3-28, Jitz was tightest with 1-21, while Joe did well to take 3-40.

Tea was a great opportunity to get five portions for the day, with seven varieties of fresh fruit the highlight.

In reply, the pitch had dried out to look like a corrugated roof. Drurs struggled with the varied line and length: his first ball pitching at the feet of gully, the second taking the edge to slip. Top Man Burton could only fend off a lifter to mid wicket, Ernie was bowled by one that cut away six inches, then Butch was well caught at silly mid on. Poor old Dave Garland, looking for some time in the middle, couldn’t get his gloves out of the way of another looping popper, and was caught behind. At 20-5 the fat lady was singing.

Then Duncan Disorderly and Dave Hiller staged a rearguard action. Duncan had been practising his county leave in the nets and left anything that pitched on the cut strip. Dave was more aggressive with one mighty six. Duncan finally lost patience and was caught for a new personal best of four. Dave Hit-Man Hiller continued to play with low hands and took more raps on the gloves than Ricky Hatton over 12 rounds. Leggy and Moley didn’t last long, and Jitz just won his private battle outscoring Joe by 8 to 5. Hiller remained unbeaten on 24 as we slumped to a depressing 75 all out.

MOM: Dave Hiller
TFC: Miller’s Top Five

MOM in running: Leggy 1, Lay Jnr 1, Benji 3, Drurs 3, Cowlard 1, Top Man 2, A.Hiller 2, D.Hiller 1