The Three Tenors Call The Tune

The business end of the season began with a home fixture against Attenborough. Global warming made the Field of Dreams a batsman’s paradise with true wicket and glass outfield. Judy Garland was welcomed back from a stag trip to Seville, and Dessy returned after a six week jolly around most of Western Europe. Best news of all was that Duncan Tarran had checked both team sheets, not just the 2nd XI, and realised he had made it to the 1st XI again. This time he turned up!

The toss was won, and Rocket Rendu chose to bat. The stage was set, but the stalls were empty as the game began, perhaps aware that Bomber Graham was on babysitting duties. Arguments raged in the pavilion about who should open with Aussie Parker - finally Dessaur strode to the crease and fully justified his selection to take on the new ball. Things at the other end were not going so well. Parker began a stream of LBWs, and soon the Millers were in trouble at 40-3. However, the opposition were soon singing a tribute to the Rocket Man. “I think it’s gonna be a long, long, time (in the field)” they sang as the long-haired skipper smashed the attack. Worse was to follow, for in the Village Hall the Keyworth Voice Choir began singing their operatic hearts out. The Millers seem to revel in a musical backdrop - who can forget Nelly’s Brass Band at Long Eaton, or the Drum & Bass inspiration at West Bridgfordians? Dessaur’s aria ended after a tuneful 61 – exit stage right. Enter stage left the baritone Meek to the “Batting Opera”, who hit a thunderous 108 off an estimated 65 balls, including three consecutive sixes into the houses. Rendu had to play second fiddle, but eventually saw up his own hundred after a chanceless knock – a punched six to the pavilion the highlight in a fine 119. The pair put on 178, including 12 sixes and more missing balls than a group of sopranos. Collison and Baker, like Domingo and Pavarotti, came in with an over to spare, and finished the innings with a crescendo - 337-6 saw the crowd give a standing ovation.

Despite panic earlier in the day about the tea rota, it was Jean’s turn in the hut, and she put on a masterful spread. The boys gorged themselves on wraps, cakes, and onion bhajis. Some threatened to lock themselves in, with Strong particularly eager to decline his bowling duties.

The Millers finally squeezed themselves out of the pavilion door and took the field. The Attenborough opener accused Jean of “dirty tricks” as he sleepily took guard after enjoying her catering. Strong struck in his first over, but tea then hit home as the heavy footed fielders orchestrated their worst display of the season. Collison and Dessaur dived over a couple of fours, Tarran was nutmegged on the boundary, and Baker let a regulation gully catch slip through his mayonnaise covered fingers. Inspiration was required, and came from Strong, who “clipped” a straight drive back on to the non-striker’s stumps with his size 14s. Strongy only wears size 10s, but the umpire thought otherwise, and the batsman was sent chuntering back to the hutch to rearrange the showers. Some lusty blows from the middle order gave Attenborough hope, but Baker bowled a fine yorker to make up for his earlier dropped catch, albeit 61 runs later. The game was drifting to a draw, but Baker tempted their other quality player into a caught and bowled. An LBW, and a nick to slip in consecutive balls put him on another hat-trick. Despite missing out, Luciano Baker finished with 6-64 – a great performance on a featherbed of a wicket. By now the Fat Lady was singing in the Village Hall, and the Fat Lad came on to bowl. Dessaur failed to pitch one, but finally bowled the last man, and the Millers snatched a win as the Curtain of Nightfall came down.

MOM : Luciano Baker, with rousing applause for Jose Meek and Placido Rendu
TFC : Geoff Tindsley

MOM Total : Garland 1, DJ Sammy 1, Bobby 2, Bomber 4, Big Tone 1, Grant 1, Rocket Rendu 1