Golden Graham

A hard fought 20 points for the First team away at West Bridgfordians.

The dressing room the day after a day at the Trent Bridge test is always a sight to behold, and most of the squad were carrying drink related niggles. Bomber had failed to apply the factor 50 to his knees, which were shinier than the new ball, and ripe for a nasty dose of pad rash. Benji meanwhile had avoided the attention of the 4am Girls by going to bed at 5, in the garden, after Boom Boom’s birthday.

Some eyebrows were raised initially when Tinno opted to bat first on a watered track that would only get better, and raised still further when we slumped to 8-2 in the second over, Beakey out to his first ball, and XX Dale to his second.

Fortunately we had five recognised openers and a no.3 in the eleven and the Postman and Bradman set about repairing the damage. Tinpot took 20 balls to reach double figures, while IG was more destructive reaching 50 in 47 balls, the ball racing away on the parched outfield. Tinno went LBW for 25 with the score on 80.

Drurs joined IG to offer more counselling to his veteran partner who was once again trying to play the perfect shot to every ball. Bradman got a bit nervous in the 90’s and had to resort to sprinting his first runs since 1997 to bring up his century.

Benji didn’t need to move the sightscreen as he could barely see it through his hungover eyes, and smashed a quick 26 before departing for more kip. Drurs had scratched around to reach 44 before LBW. The batting highlight though belonged to Day Hiller-Sister who was still doubting himself despite his flat-batted six the previous week; “Is Tuckers ready?”, asked Day before going in to bat, more concerned about the next man in rather than his own innings!

Some late scampering left us 228-7 at the break.

WB’s were the latest entrant to KCC’s Mastertea 2011 and comfortably made it through to the next round. The senior pros enjoyed gammon sandwiches and spicy onion bhajis, while the Hiller Sisters scoffed prawn flavoured Skips and sausage rolls. Though Tinno’s retro highlight was the haslet filling, last seen in a sandwich in 1985, completely unchanged since only one step up from kebab meat in nutritional value. Shelley’s birthday fairy cakes finished off the feast perfectly.

In reply, Angry Hiller was once again hot and bothered. The grunt dial on the angry-ometer had been turned up from Serena to Sharapova as Andy became more and more frustrated at a series of play and misses, and failed LBW appeals. Finally Angry boiled over as a rank long hop raced to the boundary. Dimp was forced to issue a warning and deduct 25% of his match fee for another F and C laden outburst, that had Dale quickly re-writing the club’s code of conduct, to avoid losing the potty mouthed seamer for good. Andy finally got a wicket as IG pouched a sharp catch at slip. Cowlard meanwhile had seen it all before and simply bowled at the stumps, and got a deserved LBW in a tight spell, to move further ahead of Leggy in their wicket taking challenge for the season.

The life was sucked out of the home side’s reply by tight bowling from spin twins IG and Day. Bomber as usual was setting his field with a set square and protractor, while Day was consulting his Ladybird Book of Cricket between overs to learn the positions to set his, in the absence of Bobby. Tinno as usual just let them got on with it as the rate rose from 5 to 6 to 7 and all the way through to 11 an over, as the pressure told.

Our ground fielding and catching were excellent, no doubt influenced by the arrival of KCC legends Heppers and Sir Geoff Baker, all ready to heckle the slightest fumble after a day on the pop at the Test.

Beakey took a fine catch behind, but the fielding point was shared by Tuckers and Jay-Vee who both topped 5 miles on the Opta Index scuttling around the boundary ripping trousers and knee caps to keep the boundaries at bay.

Some late slogging took WB’s to 197 before Day Hiller took a fine catch on the boundary, a great effort to bowl a side out on a flat track. Bowling figures were splendid: IG 4-46, AC 2-34, A. Sister 2-36, D. Sister 2-56.