Village Idiots

The KCC dimwits once again fell at the first fence of the Village Quiz on Monday night.

After successive first round exits, Laddy had jumped before he was pushed as Chairman of Selectors, leaving Cliff to play the Andy Flower role. Sadly Laddy had also taken the future Mrs Ladd with him, leaving us to make up 75% of last year's points total.

The Millers were overjoyed to see quiz veteran The Adonis in the front row of the Village Hall stalls, but hopes were dashed to find he was once again in the Rugby Club quartet.

Leggy once again skippered the squad, supported by Barry and Drurs, simply because no one else was available. Completing the foursome was Duncan Disorderly, on debut, hoping to add the right chemistry to the team. Though on paper this team was more suited to Bring on the Wall than Brain of Britain.

Leggy won the toss and invited the Tennis Club, two time champions no less, to serve. A round on American music from the 1960s hardly played to our strengths and we were 16-9 behind after the first set. The individual round highlighted the weak seeds in the Tennis Club line up and amazingly we were 31-29 up going into the buzzer round.

Still we hadn't bargained on the Tennis Club's star man having the entire contents of Wikipedia scribbled on the inside of his pencil case. We were slow on the buzzers and scraped in with a couple of correct answers courtesy of Colin Montgomerie and Peter Moores. But this was akin to a Sabina Park collapse to see us roundly thrashed 54-38, to leave quizmaster Mr Daft shaking his head in dismay at how a South Wolds education could be so wasted.

Still it's the taking part that counts.