Express Delivery

High tension at the Field of Dreams as the Stiffs refused to lose a tight tussle with old rivals Thrumpton.

The pre match build up contained more drama than an omnibus edition of Eastenders. An overnight squad of 10 suddenly turned to 12 as Boom Boom realised he wasn't in the 1st XI as originally thought. Ted swapped places with Vinny and hotfooted it up to Calverton. This left stand in skipper Cowlard panicking more than Corporal Jones at who to stand down from the squad. Fortunately The Adonis was more than keen to don the white coat.

In the final XI we were boosted by the appearance of Dimp, star all rounder Ball and, on debut, Barrie Rainsford. Mind you Bally was in danger of changing alone, unpacking unwashed kit from three weeks ago, that had also been part of a beer fuelled laundry bin for toilet misjudgement. Fortunately Cowlard had a spare set of whites, though Bally resembled an olympic bobsledder once squeezed in.

Elsewhere, the Ferrari pit crew was not losing any sleep, as a tyre change on HMS Collison was being timed by a calendar.

Amazingly at 1.30 it was a prompt start with 11 v 11, and we were invited to bat first on a very damp track. On paper our batting order had less depth than one of the puddles in the car park. Duncan Disorderly was given the responsibility of opening with Evergreen Ern'. This was the slowest and lowest of wickets and both opted for defence early on. Seasoned onlookers were rubbing their eyes thinking they were watching Brearley opening with Tavare as Ernie took 25 balls and Dunc 21 balls to register a run. However, plenty of extras saw us up to 19-0 after 10 overs. Gradually Ernie nudged himself into form and dominated the partnership, which grittily reached 72 at the drinks break. Duncan had matched his previous high score of 8 but was then out having survived 69 balls and given us a good platform.

Bally went in at no.3 to pinch hit, but was pinching himself as a grubber caught him plum in front for just 2. Ernie was joined by Drurs and brought up his 50 by being caught on the boundary, only for the fielder to sheepishly acknowledge that he'd put a foot on the boundary line. Ern ran out of puff soon after for a vital 61.

Rocky Rainsford strode in at no.5 for his first KCC innings. The KCC hierarchy had pulled out all the stops to secure his signature, matching the lure of IPL rupees with the offer of a free sunhat. This deck was the complete opposite of the batting paradise that Baz had prepared for us at the same time last year as stand-in groundsman. It was a case of eking out as many as possible and the middle order pair put on 50 before both perishing in the final overs, Barrie for 18, and then Drurs for 38.

Cowlard tried to improvise using the back of his bat, but succeeded only in chipping a simple catch for 1. Fortunately JR and Tuckers had more agricultural shots in the locker adding a priceless 15 in the last 2 overs.

A score of 159-7 at the break was definitely competitive. Tea by Tuckers was a monstrous feast, with ingredients supplied by No.8 and the Fruit Basket (Nottingham's finest delicatessen and greengrocers). Freshly sliced gherkins and radishes had the KCC gourmets purring, but the highlight was a vast fruit platter with fresh cherries and melon taking the lead. Word spread quickly and Dafty, Tommy and Coops didn't need asking twice to help polish off the banquet.

We needed an early breakthrough and Leggy gave himself every chance to prove that bad balls take wickets serving up a shocker every other ball. It was all too much for Trumpton's free scoring opener who miscued a full toss to Bally's safe buckets.
Down the hill Cowlard bowled another fantastic spell of 8 overs, getting through 6 overs before conceding a run off the bat, and taking three wickets for good measure, one a wicked leg stump yorker that had Ern and Dimps drooling behind the stumps. At 40-4 we were on top.

Leggy bowled his spell unchanged and clipped the top of off stump in his final over to finish with figures of 2-52 off 12 overs. Change bowlers Bally and Barrie bowled well without luck, but the visitor’s no.5 batted very well reaching 50 to put the game on a knife edge with 50 needed off 12 overs with 5 wickets to take.

It was time for Cowlard to unleash the Tollerton Express. Vinny paced his run up out to the shadows of HMS Collison; however, signs of rust were evident as his first approach resembled a Cristiano Ronaldo dribble. A shorter run up saw the Vinster resemble Cocko in his pomp mixing unplayable lift with some Joel Garner yorkers. At the other end Cowlard came back and made the crucial breakthrough clean bowling the no.5 for a fine 55. Andy completed a wicket maiden, and Vin bowled 13 successive dot balls to raise the run rate.

Fantastic fielding supported tight bowling. Carthorses’ Legge and Drury were transformed into Nijinsky and Shergar, while Tuckers and JR were quicker off the mark than Usain Bolt. Tuckers spilling some claret after taking a cover drive on the chin. At times it felt like we had 12 men, and in a way we did, as a rasping square cut hit the edge of the astroturf to turn a certain four into a single. Tommy gave the fielding point to Drurs, but your reporter felt Duncan's diving scoop back to save a boundary summed up the never say die attitude. To top it all off Bazzer took a stunning catch at short mid on off the Tollerton Express.

Thrumpton now needed 24 off 12 balls. A huge 6 from the burly no.10 raised the roof from the away support, but Vin held his nerve to leave 13 off the final over. Barrie used all his evening league experience to close the game out with fielders spread to all parts of South Nottinghamshire. Thrumpton finished on 150-9 to see us seal a fantastic victory, through an all round team effort, where we just refused to lose. Baz went for just 33 in 10 overs, Vinny took 1-19 in 6 overs, while Cowlard stole the show with majestic figures of 12-7-12-5. 18 points and up to 2nd in the table. Happy days.

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